Date: Jan 19, 2008 10:15 PM
A Change of Mind Requires a Change of Heart
By Marcia Reynolds
Do you have trouble changing your mind?
Some people say that if you
change your thoughts, you change your mind.
However, simply telling yourself to be more patient, more tolerant, more courageous, and more attractive doesn’t seem to work for more than a few seconds. Why?
Sustainable change requires a change of heart.
Last week, a friend talked me into going to a bar. I hate bars. I don’t drink or smoke, and I get irritated watching others getting drunk and smelling their smoke. As I walked through into the building, I could feel my stomach tightening as I prepared to be annoyed.
Then a little voice rang in my ear, "Handle this Miss ’Outsmart Your Brain.’" I laughed at myself, and the bubble of anger burst.
When I found my friend, I asked him who the funniest person in the bar was. He sat me next to his high school buddy who entertained me for the next two hours. I laughed so much I forgot to complain about the smoke. My choice to laugh rather than complain tricked my mind into having a good time.
I probably would not have had any fun had I just told myself to get
over it and enjoy myself. I had to shift my emotional state to succeed.
Our cognitive state, including our thoughts and "logical decisions"
are actually servants to our emotions. Our emotions dictate what we focus on and how we will act.
Therefore, changing your mind requires you first change your emotions.
To make better decisions, handle difficult situation, and live
healthier and happier lives, we must learn how to partner with our emotions, not suppress them like we’ve been taught to do.
Instead, we have to acknowledge how we feel, and then consciously shift our feelings in order to change our minds.
So how do you shift your emotional state? Here are some tips:
1. Carry things with you that make you smile or feel good or have
them handy on your desk or in your car. Keep handy pictures of your children, toys that make you laugh, and souvenirs of good times with your friends and family. Whenever you need a lift, find something to make you smile.
2. Force a smile, even a loud laugh, to get the process going. The
brain doesn’t know the fake from the real thing. Forced laughter still releases the neurochemicals that will make you feel better faster.
3. Move your body. Complex movement (not repetitive such as running) will help you shift out of an emotional rut. Engage in a sport, practice a martial art or yoga, or take a kick-boxing class to shake your fears and anger off your back.
4. Say thank you. Look around you. Remind yourself what you have to be thankful for. Gratitude will also shift your brainchemistry to help you change your mind.
5. Practice seeing the "funny" side of life. Spend a week seeing
funny movies, reading only the comics in the paper, seeking out funny peopleand trying to find the humor in the mundane. You might change your mind for life.
The greatest accomplishments over time have been fueled by emotion, and the greatest changes are caused by a change of heart. Know, choose and shift your emotional states to achieve more happiness and success in your life.
Some people say that if you
change your thoughts, you change your mind.
However, simply telling yourself to be more patient, more tolerant, more courageous, and more attractive doesn’t seem to work for more than a few seconds. Why?
Sustainable change requires a change of heart.
Last week, a friend talked me into going to a bar. I hate bars. I don’t drink or smoke, and I get irritated watching others getting drunk and smelling their smoke. As I walked through into the building, I could feel my stomach tightening as I prepared to be annoyed.
Then a little voice rang in my ear, "Handle this Miss ’Outsmart Your Brain.’" I laughed at myself, and the bubble of anger burst.
When I found my friend, I asked him who the funniest person in the bar was. He sat me next to his high school buddy who entertained me for the next two hours. I laughed so much I forgot to complain about the smoke. My choice to laugh rather than complain tricked my mind into having a good time.
I probably would not have had any fun had I just told myself to get
over it and enjoy myself. I had to shift my emotional state to succeed.
Our cognitive state, including our thoughts and "logical decisions"
are actually servants to our emotions. Our emotions dictate what we focus on and how we will act.
Therefore, changing your mind requires you first change your emotions.
To make better decisions, handle difficult situation, and live
healthier and happier lives, we must learn how to partner with our emotions, not suppress them like we’ve been taught to do.
Instead, we have to acknowledge how we feel, and then consciously shift our feelings in order to change our minds.
So how do you shift your emotional state? Here are some tips:
1. Carry things with you that make you smile or feel good or have
them handy on your desk or in your car. Keep handy pictures of your children, toys that make you laugh, and souvenirs of good times with your friends and family. Whenever you need a lift, find something to make you smile.
2. Force a smile, even a loud laugh, to get the process going. The
brain doesn’t know the fake from the real thing. Forced laughter still releases the neurochemicals that will make you feel better faster.
3. Move your body. Complex movement (not repetitive such as running) will help you shift out of an emotional rut. Engage in a sport, practice a martial art or yoga, or take a kick-boxing class to shake your fears and anger off your back.
4. Say thank you. Look around you. Remind yourself what you have to be thankful for. Gratitude will also shift your brainchemistry to help you change your mind.
5. Practice seeing the "funny" side of life. Spend a week seeing
funny movies, reading only the comics in the paper, seeking out funny peopleand trying to find the humor in the mundane. You might change your mind for life.
The greatest accomplishments over time have been fueled by emotion, and the greatest changes are caused by a change of heart. Know, choose and shift your emotional states to achieve more happiness and success in your life.
Love and Light,
Rosalie xo
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